Love and Relationship Ethos: Friends, Good Friends, Great Friends, and Best Friends

One of the greatest blessings in my life are the people in it. I have been fortunate to know a lot of truly inspirational and incredible people. I really do believe that even the most wonderful, rich life is nothing without a loving, caring group of people to share it with. I wish I could take the time to explain to each person in my life how important they are to me; to try and sum up just how much they matter. Because even though it ins't my job or responsibility to validate anyone, I know it doesn't go unappreciated.

Friends aren't hard to come by, especially in college. There is always someone who you share that one thing in common to, or can just hold a decent, stimulating conversation with. They are that person who helps you remain focused because they are also focused on similar things. I love to seek out new friendships, because the more connected you are to others, the further you can get each other in life.

My good friends are my friends who I've known for a while, but not long enough yet. These friends often go on to become great friends. Everyone deserves at least one great friend. That person who you can call day or night and you without a doubt they will answer. This great friend always goes above and beyond. They're always there. Everyone should be someone's great friend as well.

Now best friends, these are extremely hard to come by, and should be cherished as such. A best friend is a friend, good friend, great friend, all combined into something deeper than the individual entities. My best friend goes beyond the call of duty at all times, she is more than a best friend to me, she is my sister. Best friends share a connection far deeper than the average relationship between two people with similar interest. A best friend is a soulmate, the bond can never and should never be tampered with.

I cherish all of my friends: good, great, and best; equally. I love them all dearly, and I hope that everyday, they wake up knowing this.  

Love And Relationship Ethos: Change With The Times.

When it comes to the people I allow to be in my life, I've always had a "tight circle" mentality. I've been lucky enough to always know what my core values are, and even luckier to be stubborn enough to always stick to them. Whenever I let anyone in my life in any way, shape, or form, I have to admit- I have a tendency to be a little...harsh at times. If I ever felt that someone was becoming the kind of person that I didn't want to associate with or that would bring me down in any way, I would remove them from my life with a quickness. It's just the mentality I've always had. I like to think it's half of my being wise and making wise decisions, and half being guarded (I can admit it).

Since I've had this mentality, at least in part, because I am a guarded person, I've always enforced a strict rule about letting people back into my life after I've removed them: don't do it. I do this for many reasons: my progressive nature plays a huge part- letting people back in is a move backwards, not forwards; how will it seem to others if the person I was so sure shouldn't be in my life is suddenly back in?

But the more I move through life and the more I grow I realize that maybe I've been a little... misguided. Maybe letting someone back in isn't a sign of my regression, but a sign of their progression. Doesn't it make sense that if someone changes the thing about them that forced you to remove them from your life, you can and probably should give them another chance. Why is it so important to limit the number of chances we give someone to "get right"? 

Truthfully, how many times have we received a second, third, forth, or even fifth chance, even when we didn't deserve it? Pay it forward, return the favor, be open to new old relationships; because no one is place in your life by chance. 

Open Your Mind, Be Proactive, Make A Change.

Yesterday no one could turn on a television channel or access any social media site without the news of Troy Davis appearing. Before long, #freetroydavis, #toomuchdoubt and, sadly, #riptroydavis were trending topics world wide on twitter. It was incredible to see everyone coming together, voicing their outrage, and trying to make a difference. The upset at the justice system was undeniable; and the voice of the people was heard.

While I sat reading tweets and watching news updates, I was saddened to see how quickly people were shifting from being outraged at the mistreatment of an innocent human being, to playing the race game. Did race play a factor in this case? Sure, while there is no proof of this, it is highly likely. However, this should not be the reason that people were outraged. We live in a multicultural world. One of the main reasons why there are so many color barriers is because we refuse to knock them down as a people. Troy Davis' case was not "just another black injustice"; it was another human injustice. Anyone who was touched or moved by this case, should have been equally moved if he were a member of any other race. 

I also hope that Troy's case did not just spark "one time activism"; meaning, what will it cause people to do? Were you outraged yesterday but living life as usual today? I encourage everyone to know not only Troy's story, but the story of others who have been sentenced or could possibly be sentenced to similar fates. Find out what you can do in your community, school, town, or state. Take a stand. Words without actions are useless, and the only way to make a change is to get up and change something. Activist are proactive, they do not just sit on the sidelines waiting for something to happen. Take your stand.

Wabi-Sabi: A Way Of Living That Focuses On Finding The Beauty Within The Imperfections Of Life....

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... and accepting peacefully the natural cycle of growth and decay.

wabi sabi: a relatively untranslatable Japanese word which means: A way of living that focuses on finding the beauty within the imperfections of life, and accepting the natural cycle of growth and decay

We live in a world where focusing on the negative isn't necessary, because it is thrown in our faces every minute of every day. You can't turn on the TV without being reminded that the economy is bad, the nation is at war, and unemployment is up. Days get longer, time runs faster, and sometimes, it even seems that the 24 hours in one day are no where near sufficient. Stress comes easy, flowing in negative energy comes easy, staying positive takes work.

Wabi-Sabi is a lifestyle choice; you either choose to be positive or choose to be negative. You decide everyday whether or not you will search for the good in every circumstance or situation, or allow yourself to sulk and dwell in the valley of negativity. This does not mean you have to try and place some deep meaning on everything that happens to you in life. I truly believe that sometimes, things just happen. But you can decided how can you use the event to shape and mold your life.

Life will always be hard, there will always be challenges, and those challenges will always be temporary.

Everything changes, anything tangible has the ability to change. That even includes your attitudes and perspectives. It is never to late to elevate your mind and alter your perspective. We are all walking histories, and every day is a chance to decided how your history ends.

Live Positive.

It's Okay To Know What You Want; It's Okay To Want Perfection.

I want to be that woman. The woman who is well traveled, well established. She speaks more than one... no more than two languages, fluently. She loves art, and has classics, as well as likable unknowns, hanging on the walls of her apartment. Her sense of style is impeccable. She always makes sure her clothes fit tight enough to show she's a woman, but loose enough to remind the world she is a lady. She's friendly, personable, lovable. You can't help but wonder who she is. When you look at her life, the presence and the grace of God are clearly evident. She is beyond blessed, they think; yet they do not envy her.

She puts God and her family before everything. She is a helper, and a giver. She shares her heart and material things willingly. She never holds anything back, yet is soft and gentle enough to protect the feelings of others. Her list of successes and accomplishments are a mile long, but they don't phase her. She only wants the glory of God to shine through in everything she does.

I want him to be that man. The man who wakes up every morning with thoughts that are bigger than he. He is well traveled, established, and speaks more than one... two languages. He loves art, literature, and poetry; he is known to explore different cultures. He does not dress to fit a certain image, or to impress anyone, yet somehow, he impresses everyone. When you look at his life, the presence and the grace of God is clearly evident.

He puts God and his family before everything. His generosity is endless, he would rather do than sit back while others take action. He speaks his mind often, which others do not mind, because his thoughts are worth hearing. He is extremely accomplished; yet for all of his achievements he seems to reach a new level of humility. He is all about the kingdom of God.

Don't ever tell me to stop looking for him, or that I cannot be her. I know what I want, and being made in a perfect image means I can expect to find perfection.

Mastering The Art Of Self Motivation

Right now, I am in my PJ's, blogging from the comforts of my bed. After a week full of late nights at the library, classes, and landing an internship, to say my week has been hectic would be an understatement. I don't know if it's the weather outside or the deadline of papers and assignments getting closer, but laying in bed and sleeping forever seems like a great idea. But, that is just not possible. Don't get me wrong, I love my fast paced lifestyle! Late nights and early mornings have become "my thing", especially since moving into college. And thanks to time management skills, I've been able to keep up with that lifestyle.

One thing that really helps me stay motivated on days like this is my motivation wall. Anyone who has ever lived in a dorm knows that the room decor can play a huge role in how productive you inside the room. Putting up pictures of your friends and family helps to add that since of home, but I decided to take it a step forward. I dedicated on wall on my site of the room to be a wall of motivation. It's full of images of things that keep me going. A picture of London, because I hope to study abroad there in the future. Quotes about dreaming, never giving up, remaining persistent, and putting my trust in God and not in myself. Sometimes, I write little post-it's to myself and leave them places I know I will visit when my day reaches its most hectic peak.



Anytime I see an image online or read a quote that I think will future motivate me, I plan on adding it to the wall. It's normal for everyone to have a bad day, week, or even month. The point is that you cannot live in it. Do not become a citizen of your circumstances and always remember that your attitude determines you altitude, not the other day around. As long as you continue to focus on your goal destination and not allow distractions of circumstances keep you down, you will always be motivated to succeed.

September 11th, I'll Never Forget.

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I remember the entire day even though it was 10 years ago. I was in 3rd grade, and we were working on a project in a computer lab. All the teachers were flocked around TV's, but wouldn't let the students see; they didn't tell us anything. I remember after a view minutes, our teacher came in and asked us to write something about America, why we love America, what it's like to be an American. It was an odd, and random, assignment, but we did it. I went home, everyone was talking a building that was bombed. What? Who would bomb a building? A plane? What?


I got home, and my parents had the news on every TV in the house. I remember all the after school shows showing specials about safety, loving our nation, trying to explain what happened, trying to make sense of it. It didn't work, nothing made sense. It still doesn't make sense. I remember laying in my bed that night, crying, thinking that a plane was going to fly through the ceiling of my room. I didn't understand, I still don't understand. I will never understand; and I will never forget.


Think about where you were that day, remember what you felt. Our only obligation is to never forget. We cannot allow hate to be associated with this day. Hate will only cause more instances of hate to occur. Remember how you held your children closer that night, remember that each day, we get to choose be to good people. People who want to fill the world with love, peace, and a sense of safety. Just remember.

Thank you to the firemen, police officers, and all other respondents on that day. Even though there might not be "room for you" at ground zero for the 10th anniversary, thank you for risking it all, giving it all, all for us. For showing up where you wish there wasn't room for you. Things like that not only puzzle me, but deeply sadden me. But that seems to be a trend in this world, we seem to push away the one who give their all for us.

Kindness: Pass It Along.

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My morning started off rough to say the least. My alarm went off but I decided to lay in bed an extra 25 minutes, knowing that would give me no time to get ready for my class. When I did finally manage to get out of bed, I was still in the sad mood I'd been in for days. To top it all off my hair wasn't cooperating, it was still wet and rainy out, and the shoes I wanted to wear were still soaked from yesterdays typhoon (exaggeration). I left the room praying I had enough time to make a quick Starbucks run before my class, because caffeine was of the essence. It was gloomy outside, and I definitely felt gloomy inside. I made it Starbucks and, to my surprise, the line was short. That is definitely a quick way to turn my frown upside-down. Before long I was all smiles, headed towards class with a steaming hot Cappuccino ready to take on the day.



I know it seems like my bad morning has nothing to do with kindness, but in reality, it does! The whole time I was walking around, listening to rainy day music, I didn't even take the time to notice anyone else around me. There could have been someone walking right beside me, or standing behind me in the short Starbucks line who was having an actual bad day (not that bad hair days don't constitute crisis). While I was walking around looking for a small something to signal that my day was going to turn around, someone could have been hoping that I WOULD be that sign for them.

My challenge to myself, and anyone who reads this post, is to do one, just one, random act of kindness, one day during the rest of this week! I'm game.

xo,
♡Amber

Daring To Become A Dream

The one time during the day when we act completely without limits, fears, or a sense of reality, is when we sleep. Think about it: how many times have you had that dream where you are doing the impossible? The dream where you have the perfect job, every day is a great day, and life is just amazing. But then, for whatever reason, we wake up, and reality kicks back in. This reality is usually negative: "not I" "I can't" "That will never be my life". Can you imagine how unstoppable we would all be as individuals (not to mention as a whole), if we lived every day as if we were dreaming!



I am going to make it my personal goal to start remembering my dreams. We dream so many dreams on a daily basis, we can only remember a few. I like to think we remember the most relevant ones.

Most people over the age of 10 have 4-6 dreams per night.

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To accomplish this goal, I'm going to start keeping a dream book. Just a small, basic notebook that I will keep close to me, so that it's handy first thing in the morning. Hopefully, when I start writing down my dreams, I can meditate on them, and then take one step closer to becoming them.

xo,
♡Amber.